Silent All These Years: How to deal with it?

Friday, March 09, 2007

How to deal with it?

Last night I received news that my father passed away suddenly. What started as a mild heart attack turned into a major attack and he has now left this world. I am in a state of shock and filled with utter guilt. I don't know what to feel. I don't feel sad and I want to but I don't. It is too surreal, still. I am not close to my father, in fact the last time I spoke with him was when I called home long distance a year ago and that conversation was brief at best. I don't know him very well. Maybe this is why I feel numb. I am worried about my mom as my dad was her entire world. I am expecting the inevitable to happen soon. How do I deal with it? My manager sent me home at noon today as I was aimless at work. I was asked to take some time off but I don't feel like I need to. I need to go back to work, this is how I deal with things, I bury myself in what I know best and that is work. I am not holding it inside. I feel a mix of emotions but mostly shock. I pray it was not too painful for him. I pray he rest in peace. I will miss you and I wish I knew you well dad and I wish you knew me well too. I pray my mom pulls through and finds strength somewhere.

posted by movetothis @ 1:30 pm

3 Comments:

At 1:47 am, Brand New W said…

oh, i'm so sorry to hear this news!!! i will call you in the morning, or feel free to call anytime if u want to hang out or go for coffee (who are we kidding? go for FOOD!!) *big hugs*
At 12:51 pm, Anonymous said…

Hi,
I met you once at Hot Lunch's party and just had to tell you that I'm sorry to hear this news and am thinking of you and your family.

Alexis
At 1:01 pm, movetothis said…

Thanks AW, Alexis and Zocalo for your kind words, they mean a lot! It gets easier to cope day by day.